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Understanding Child Grooming

Mar 15,2022

The National Centre for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) CyberTipline recorded 21.7 million suspected cases of child sexual exploitation in the year 2020. Out of the total reports received, 21.4 million of them were solely from electronic service providers. Ongoing through the cases closely, the organization found out that there was a sudden surge in online enticement among the children where someone, with the help of the internet, grooms a child intending to commit a sexual crime against them.


Now, when the whole world continues to combat the COVID-19 pandemic, child grooming has become easier thus, leading to a substantial increase in the cases of child molestation and abuse. With people, including children, having the need to shift online for multiple purposes, like virtual education, they have started getting even more engrossed in the 5-inch screens than they already were. On the other hand, Social media makes it easier for molesters to reach out to children from anywhere and groom them for sexual activities.


What is Child Grooming?


According to Rainn's statistics, one in 9 girls and 1 in 53 boys under the age of 18 experienced sexual abuse or assault at the hands of an adult. In 93% of the total child sexual abuse cases, the perpetrators are someone the child knows or someone trustworthy.


Child grooming is when a person/perpetrator gains the trust of both, the child and his or her family, to exploit and manipulate the child. Some of the most prominent reasons for the manipulation of the child are sexual abuse and child trafficking. A groomer can be anyone who maneuvers the child in his or her favor for performing sexual activities.


Stages of Child Grooming

The grooming of a child does not happen overnight. It required calculated decisions and investment of time for groomers to win the trust of a child and his/her family. Hence, child grooming can be divided into six different stages.


Stage 1: Targeting

The first stage involves the targeting of the victim. The groomers look for children with neediness, isolation, less parental guidance, etc. with an aim to groom them in their favor.


Stage 2: Gaining the trust

After the offenders have found the child they like, the next step is to gain their trust. They try to gel with the community, the surroundings, and every related thing to the child to win their faith.


Stage 3: Filling a need

Having gained the trust of the victims, the groomers try looking for moments for filling the needs of the children. Fulfilling the requirements of the children, lets them win importance in victim's lives.


Stage 4: Isolating the child

The offender by winning the trust of the child tries spending more time alone with them and fulfilling their needs and requirements. This makes them feel that this individual cares and loves them more than any other adult, thus leading to their isolation.


Stage 5: Sexualizing the relationship

On creating emotional dependence, the offender afterward tries sexualizing the relationship. Offenders usually create scenarios like going swimming (that involves both the offender and victim undressed) for exploiting the child sexually.


Stage 6: Maintaining control

After grooming the child towards sexual exploitation, the offenders blame and threaten the children to maintain control over them by keeping them shut from sharing the events with any member of the family.


How to protect children from grooming?

Recognizing child grooming can be easy if you pay special attention to your children. If you find something wrong with the behavior of any adult towards your child, it is important to take a step immediately to avoid any future harm.


What can you do?


  • Most offenders can be seen crossing the boundaries. For example, there can be times when an adult might ask the child to sit on the lap or go to the movies alone. Such unusual behavior should not be neglected. As a parent, you can set a few rules for adults getting in touch with your child. 

  • To prevent your child from facing grooming, you must make them understand about healthy relationships. Teach them about appropriate and inappropriate touches to help them stay safe from any possible sexual exploitation.

  • If any adult is being overly sensitive and sympathetic towards your child, you must start worrying. Perpetrators usually try creating barriers between the parents and children before abusing them sexually. Try talking it out with your child.

  • The conversation is the key to preventing future sexual exploitation. If the child has had a red flag experience in the past and has kept it a secret for a long time. Listen to them when they finally gather the guts to share it with you. Most children feel that no one will believe them. So, stay calm and let them know that you believe them. 

  • With the surge in online grooming, it is additionally indispensable to make your children aware of unknown people online. Most offenders meet children online and groom them before abusing them sexually.


It can be a constant struggle for parents with children who have experienced any incidents of child grooming. If your child or anyone you know is suffering from child grooming, find support immediately.